Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

Ok, so you all have been on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride in Disneyland, right? Well, picture that ride, without the safety features and that was the 3.5 hour VIP bus ride we took from Vientiene to Vangviang in Laos (Why they call this "bus" a VIP, we have no idea because it was anything but...) Yes, we had bumps in the road, dodged animals (actually hitting a pig) and a driver who was appropriately nicknamed "Ricky Bobby" ala Talledega Nights. We were passing cars on the left and right (on a what was barely a two lane "road") and Ricky Bobby thought it a good idea to search out and run over every pothole in the road so that our heads hit the top of the mini-van we rode in with 8 other people.

Needless to say, we made it to Vangviang, a small sleepy town made up of Western backpackers and the local Lao population. Although we had been forewarned that this village was a stop over for backpackers on their way to Luang Prubang from Vientiene, we couldn't get over just how many Westerners there were and how the restaurants had a choice selection of Western food. We stayed in a bungalow ($18 a night) off the Nam Song River and really enjoyed the place (we were informed by the proprietor that Kylie Monigue stayed there in 2002 - claim to fame). The first night we ate at the "resort" restaurant because we got in late and met some Brits who were traveling through Southeast Asia. Two older couples who were very friendly and talkative, we enjoyed their company. The next morning we woke up and located a kayaking and caving tour...yes you heard me correctly, Ryan and Julie sought out a kayaking and caving tour. Locating a tour is quite simple, the hard part is choosing one...Vangviang is sort of the Southeast Asia Interlaken (Switzerland)...with many outdoor activities and extreme sports to take part in. So we signed up and in a few hours were in a tuk-tuk heading out of town with our kayaks strapped to the roof and our Lao guide, "Tee", sitting next to us.

We arrived at our departure point on the Nam Song River and our initial thought was "How hard can this be?" Well, after the first 5 minutes we realized that we may be in over our heads - literally. You see, Julie and I were in the same kayak, Julie in front and I in back and for those of you who haven't been kayaking-for-two, there is a great deal of communication that needs to take place - AND COMMUNICATE WE DID!! We were yelling "Forward paddle" "Back Paddle" "Left Side" "Right Side" ... and we usually ended up going down the river backwards...we know that Tee was thinking to himself, "I do not get paid enough for this." After about 2 hours of joy on the river, and only a few "are we there yets" from Julie, Tee said we were headed to shore for some caving...what a welcome relief, we both thought. So, we got out of our kayaks (soaking wet!) and met a man who provided us with headlamps...I thought this was a bit much, I mean, we've all been in caves in the US that are well-lit, usually with a staircase and lots of people AND really those caves aren't too deep, right? Well, another reminder we weren't in America. We get to the entrance of this very large cave and see a few people rock climbing, we smile and wave and head into the cave, which doesn't look all that deep from the entrance and I don't even bother to turn on the headlamp. Then our guide points to a black hole, which I thought was a wall, and says we will go in there. Julie and I look at each other with a look of trepidation, but excitement and the "we can't turn back now" nod. So we followed our guide into the darkness, think Disneyland Matterhorn-like. I should mention that we were the only 3 people in the cave once we left the rock climbers at the entrance. The cave is pitch black, until our eyesight becomes accustomed to the darkness and gradually we can make out the contours of the cave wall, of course once we figure out how to turn on the headlamp, the cave reveals itself opening up to a very large area with high walls on either side. We both were taken aback at the enormity of our surroundings, as our guide was telling us that this cave was used by the Vietnamese soldiers during the Vietnam War. Our guide pushed on further into the cave, which revealed passageway after passageway and huge "rooms" with crystallized rock walls. [Insert Julie's comment: this is when I start to freak out. . . I mean we are in LAOS, deep inside a mountain with a little battery powered headlight and no one else can hear us. . . with a Lao guide who doesn't say much.] After we walked another 10 minutes further into the cave our guide turns to us and says, "we can head one direction towards the exit (a different one then we came in) or we can head further into the cave." At this point, Julie and I thought this was something out of a Jules Verne novel. I look at Julie and she says "I am ready to leave, NOW." Frankly, so was I. We felt as if we were so deep inside the mountain, the air was stale and the walls seemed to close in on us. So, we asked our guide to head towards the exit. He skips away saying "Follow me." Julie and I run after him, trying to keep up. Finally we reach a rock wall and he turns to us and says, "Ok, we have to go under the rock, watch what I do." And he lowers himself through the tiniest of cracks between two rocks. Julie turns to me and says, "I don't know if you are going to fit, Ry." And then she takes off through the crack. [Insert Julie's comment: of course my comment began with a "LOVE"]. I was standing there wondering if I could squeeze myself through, when I suddenly realized that I either do it, or go all the way back the way we came, which by this point, was a very long, dark walk. So, after much huffing and puffing I squeezed my way to the other side and saw the light of day.

We made it out of the cave, but we weren't out of the woods yet...we still had another hour of kayaking to get back to our pick-up point. Julie and I worked on our commands again, "Right, Left!!" "No not backwards!" [Insert Julie's comment: of course all of these 'commands' are followed by LOVE"]. Then we hopped back in the water-logged kayak and were off. At many times during our trip down the river we saw foreigners taking a leisure motor boat ride up the river...Julie looked back at me, with her hair and face wet with river water, sitting in a pool of water and said "Those people are genius!" (ala our school director). And I had to agree. We finally made it to our destination (Tee took us right to our resort), got out of the kayak, thanked our guide, and headed to the resort bar. . .bought two BeerLao and sat on our porch overlooking the river, feeling like a job well done.

That night we went to a local restaurant. However the local restaurants really cater to Westerners and at every place their are couches and television. Each restaurant plays different movies or television shows and your dining spot is not so much chosen based upon the menu as it is based upon the movie playing at the restaurant. It seemed a bit strange to be watching American movies (and Friends episodes) in a remote, small village in a Communist country...but 'when in Rome.'

The next morning we woke up early and caught the bus back to Vientiene. True to form, it was just as bumpy as the ride up to Vangviang and our driver was just as crazy as the first. Anyway, we made it back to Vientiene, then caught a bus across the Friendship Bridge back into Thailand. We are relieved to be back in our 'home away from home' and are looking forward to a good night's sleep.